傍晚放工後，獨自到公園跑步．公園草地上有人在看書曬太陽，有人打排球，有人放狗．但華氏八十多度（近攝氏三十度）的天氣下，跑不到三圈便要投降．然後，慢慢行到Starbucks；漂亮的姐姐（應該是妹妹）介紹新出品的 Pomegranate（石榴） Frappuccino．要了杯Grande，味道不差，但也不是很好．經過相熟的日本餐廳，點了個便當，一邊吃一邊和沖繩來的老闆娘有一句沒一句地聊著．回家路上，尚泛藍的天空掛了一彎很幼很幼的月亮．
心，覺得有些不對勁．（點解會咁村上春樹？）
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年少時，生活的目的，是為了實現父母的期望．由努力讀書到找份好工作，港式思維的腦袋，其實從來沒問過自己想做些甚麼．
長大一點，以為會有無窮的時間，無限的自由．我會學懂所有想學的東西，行遍想去的地方，認識想認識的朋友，談想談的戀愛．．．
再長大一點，才發覺那是何等無知的天真．人，總是懶惰，愚笨，怕事，善忘．十個理想，往往是未起步先打消其中四個，然後三個半途而廢，再忘掉兩個；剩下一個能堅持的，卻又未必會成功．
或者，活著並不是為了迎合別人的要求，也不是為了尋找個人的自由．我想，人一生最在意的，其實是在別人眼中的自己是個怎樣的人．我們以為我行我素，不過是潛意識中，為家人伴侶朋友同事塑造著一個「我」的模型．
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到底最重要的是甚麼？感情，家庭，金錢，事業，快樂，智慧？這麼大的世界，應該做甚麼，應該到那處？
沒有答案的問題．今天，卻好像已不太在乎有沒有答案．
原來不知不覺間，我己經成為了自己人生的旁觀者．（我諗，都係村上春樹Ｄ小說累事．）
"成為了自己人生的旁觀者" 感覺很抽離..聲音中充滿無奈.還是我會錯意呢??
ReplyDelete沒錯..我們口說毫不在乎..其實卻很在意別人的想法...不過我們都是為自己而活..每個人都是自私的..只是有些人隱藏得好些..有些人外露些而已..
村上春樹..我看得不多..不知為何..總有點抗拒翻譯小說..我好像只讀過"挪威的森林"..我的朋友是他的忠實讀者..她推介我讀"海邊的卡夫卡"..你又何好介紹呢???
《挪威的森林》應該是村上小說中最「正常」的一本．村上差不多每本小說都帶些超現實情節，《海邊的卡夫卡》也不例外，非忠實讀者可能會看不慣．
ReplyDelete《舞！舞！舞！》《國境以南，太陽以西》和新的短篇《東京奇譚集》都比較接近現實，可以考慮．
不看書的話，我推薦電影《東尼瀧谷》，是短篇《萊辛頓的幽靈》中的故事，香港版DVD已經有得買．
極之認同這一段:
ReplyDelete'人，總是懶惰，愚笨，怕事，善忘．十個理想，往往是未起步先打消其中四個，然後三個半途而廢，再忘掉兩個；剩下一個能堅持的，卻又未必會成功．'
相信有很多三字頭的人, 對於上述言論都深有同感.
村上春樹的書, 真係好o野黎架~ 我最喜歡 '世界末日與冷酷異境' , 十個推介!
「相信有很多三字頭的人, 對於上述言論都深有同感」：哈哈，原來有些感覺，是會準確透露年齡的．．．
ReplyDelete”世界末日與冷酷異境”是我的村上首選．但它太”魔幻”，我諗唔係咁適合做村上入門書．
Just read this and I too whole-heartedly empathise with this passage, "人，總是懶惰，愚笨，怕事，善忘．十個理想，往往是未起步先打消其中四個，然後三個半途而廢，再忘掉兩個；剩下一個能堅持的，卻又未必會成功"
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, I just turned 30 a week or so ago, and have just blogged about reminding myself not to lose heart/guts in pursuing my dreams. I still believe I can achieve them, one at a time. (After all, there are people who go white-water rafting in their 80s, so age shouldn't be the excuse for why dreams became mere idle thoughts - or so I wish I would always remind myself...)
Re: Haruki Murakami, please forgive me for what I'm about to say, as I used to like his novels and short story collections. However, I found that over time, his central character is always the same mould: a seemingly blameless voyeur, for whom life and the strange encounters in the world are things that happen to him, and he never realised, much less accepts, the fact that he is as much an actor in the world and his own life even though he doesn't actively pursue anything. I also found increasingly in his writings, a subconscious, almost racist, bias against non-Japanese Asians, most notably in "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle", where Chinese and other Asian people are typecasted as uncivilised brutes and such unsavoury stereotypes are normalised as they came from the point of view of this seemingly sensitive, blameless voyeur... I don't know whether this impression is simply a function of the English translations though, perhaps the Chinese translations are much better?
snowdrops: is Haruki Murakami repeating himself? I think so too, but it doesn’t diminish his charm (yes, I am a blindfolded, biased, fanatic fan). I tend to view those strange encounters as props, which he uses to contrast the absurdity of urban drudgery.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with the “racist” comment. The description in "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" simply reflects the zeitgeist among Japanese during WWII. Murakami is definitely a pacifist. I believe he’s an egalitarian, too.
"I think so too, but it doesn’t diminish his charm (yes, I am a blindfolded, biased, fanatic fan)."
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved you didn't lash out at me for saying anything negative about Murakami! I have had much worse reception when I dared to criticise his work with his truly fanatic fans.
"I tend to view those strange encounters as props, which he uses to contrast the absurdity of urban drudgery."
I actually like the surrealism in his work, and found this to be a strength of his novels. What I increasingly can't stomach though is the fatalistic passivity of the central character, who is meant to be this likeable ordinary joe, but I am getting tired of his lack of reflexivity about his own role in the story of his life... It's the inverse of deux ex machina, a pet hate of mine in novels. Although Murakami doesn't commit the crime of having everything resolved for the central character at the last minute by divine intervention, he just studiously ignores the role the central character played in creating the sense of unreality and ennui of his character's world. So blame life, not the central character, and don't resolve anything, which to me is as intellectually lazy as relying on acts of God to resolve everything...
(Again, sincere apologies for my frank and perhaps unnecessarily harsh criticisms...)
I have to say though I don't know much about the personal politics of Murakami, and perhaps as you say the racist undertones I detect in his novels such as the Wind-up Bird Chronicle is merely a reflection of the societal context in which the novels were set... I still feel very uncomfortable about the normalization of such stereotypes in his work though... although that alone would not prevent me from reading another novel of his if he has a new one out :)