Sunday, June 22, 2008

怪談



(一)

上月一天,剛從外地回來;在機場下機後,匆匆取回行李袋,便乘車回家。

袋是個普通的運動袋,旁邊有兩個放雜物的小口袋。回到家中,發覺本來應該是空的一個口袋,看起來卻是漲漲的。

打開拉鍊一看,是一隻不屬於我的涼鞋。一隻右腳的男裝涼鞋。

我看着右腳的鞋子嘖嘖稱奇;同一時候,地球某處,鞋子的主人對着左腳的鞋子發愁。我想,一對鞋子從此天各一方,也是很可憐的。

然後,我拿起那隻可憐的涼鞋,扔進垃圾箱。

各位機場工作人員,下次要塞的話,請放些相機,錢包,珠寶,不要再放一隻骯髒的爛鞋。


(二)

昨天晚上,刷過牙後,如常地隨手把電動牙刷放在洗手盆邊,便去睡覺。

今朝醒來,步進浴室,腳尖竟踢到一件硬物。低頭一看,牙刷正橫躺於浴室地上,不省人事。

把它拾起來,按一按掣。牙刷還有電,還會轉,看來又不似開關短路。令人百思不得其解:為甚麼它會震到地上呢?

真想對着牙刷講:做乜半夜三更自己出街?唔識飲就唔好學人飲,飲醉左又唔識路返屋企。你知唔知條街好多壞人架!

黃家衛如開拍重慶森林2,可以考慮考慮這一幕。版權費另議。


(三)

半年前,接到一個不認識的人打來的電話。聲音聽來像個老婦。她找 Sandy,我說打錯;她說了句對不起,便掛斷了線。

後來幾天,她又打了兩三次來。我想,老年人眼力不好,按錯號碼不足為奇,也沒放在心上。

之後,每當見到來電顯示是她,我便不接,讓電話轉去留言信箱。奇怪的是,明明是我的 greeting,她也把它當作 Sandy 的留言信箱,自說自話。

更奇怪的,是她留言的內容:

「Sandy,我很害怕,你不要不理我。」
「Sandy,我知道我不應該找你,但我只想和你說一會。」
「Sandy,我忘了和他們說那張支票的事,我不知怎麼辦。」
「Sandy,我想我要坐牢了。」

接着的兩個月,她一次也沒再打來。到上個月的一個週末,卻變本加厲,甚至一天來電五次。每次對她說打錯,她都很有禮地說對不起便掛線,從不肯透露她到底想打那個號碼。

然後,又沉寂了一個月。到上星期,電話響起,又是一聲「Is Sandy there?」

我想,Sandy 應該是她的女兒。婦人可能和 Sandy 因錢財反目,女兒一怒下不顧而去,從此母女二人多年不相往來。現在婦人年紀老邁,開始患上老人癡呆病。她想和女兒重修舊好,可惜記憶衰退,只能靠記憶中錯誤的電話號碼,一次又一次地碰運氣...

突然,很想她再打一通電話來,然後問她一句:「Who’s Sandy?」。

12 comments:

  1. 嘩.....好驚!毛管都桐起.

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  2. 哈哈很有趣啊 ! (一) 我一定看得兵捉賊的電影太多,你查過鞋有內格沒有? 可能有人正在追查涼鞋的下落呀... (二) Toy's story :? (三) 我也接過同一人打錯的電話 ... :S

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  3. 你這幾段怪談很好笑,最後一段其實很有小說感,我覺得你應該考慮做副業:寫電影劇本。這段留言也可列作怪談之四。 ;0

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  4. My immediate reactions to your really intriguing tales:

    (1) Perhaps I'm a pessimist, but I was thinking that, if it happens to me, then I'd have been really thankful that whoever pushed that stuff into my bag didn't include any sharp objects or illegal substances that may have landed me in real trouble. So never mind the jewellery and extra cash, I'm just relieved it's a lonely flipflop and not Class A drugs :)

    (2) Actually before I read your last line, I was immediately reminded of the iconic scene of Tony Leung talking to his toothbrush in Chungking Express!! :) I would really love to see this scene in a WKW movie actually!

    (3) And for some reason this last story reminds me of Murakami's "Year of Spaghetti" (apropos of the discussion over at Yun)... And actually, "Sandy" could refer to a guy also. So maybe this old lady is reminiscing about her past love?

    But yeah, please do find out who Sandy is the next time she rings, and please tell us here afterwards (you can't start a story without letting us know the ending! It'd be too cruel).

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  5. abby:好驚?好笑就真。

    michelle:(1)我也想過,不過domestic flight 應該沒人用如此笨拙方法偷運。(2)哈哈,可能牙刷想和牙膏私奔,牙膏臨陣退縮。(3)同一人打錯不出奇,但Sandy 這個case一錯再錯,又神出鬼沒,是真的有點怪。

    readandeat:這裡一星期幾百字也交不出,寫劇本,肯定低過minimum wage啦。

    snowdrops:(1)...or, at least stuff me a PAIR of flipflops! (2)Who can forget the most iconic of all WKW scenes? It's ingrained into our pop culture meme. (3) I want to complete the story too, but she hasn't called for almost two weeks. Perhaps I will make up an excuse to call her :)

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  6. 嗨!
    你的文字很有畫面...
    剛看過後很有趣,讓我有好心情吃個便當
    忍不住留言~我遠方有味道的遊魂

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  7. 嗨!
    你的文字很有畫面...
    剛看過後很有趣,讓我有好心情吃個便當
    忍不住留言~我遠方有味道的遊魂

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  8. slai:歡迎!「遠方有味道的遊魂」...你的留言很耐人尋味,十分貼切這篇「怪談」!

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  9. 朗朗天日,何怪哉!
    味道來自你的文章
    遊魂是寂寞的人
    戲言了

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  10. 睇(二)時﹐狂笑囉! 咩事先!!

    How come you don't need to recharge your electronic toothbrush?! I think after a year or so, I have to recharge every time I used it. Now, sometimes it can't last 2 minutes!!! I think I need to get a new one... but I thought they should last for a long long time. (I have been using it less than 5 years.)

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  11. 雲: 五年?你講笑吓?我個支用唔夠三年已經壞成咁。I think yours battery is almost dead. I bought a new one already (好貴), it can last a few days between recharges.

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  12. I think I used 5 years! I thought it can last forever!! (!) (I really thought that! ~_~) It's so expensive! I will continue to use it until the battery is complete dead!!

    I recharge between each use, I wonder if that's bad or good for the battery...

    ReplyDelete